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depurple Warnings : 1 Ministerial

Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 2876 Location: Australia
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Yes the time has finally come when I DP can not solve this mess I am in!
So please feel free to help me:Your advice will be greatly appreciated:
On Friday night I met this 18 year old chick at a Thin Lizzy Tribute band:
She looks like Jessica Simpson and man she has asked me over this Saturday night to talk about Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll and help her improve her vocal cords (She wants to be a singer):"SHES GOT THE LOOKS" but needs my help to express better oral techniques at getting her mouth around difficult octave ranges:
In the meantime an old (28years old) groupie from my band who now lives in Sydney will be down for the weekend and wants to catch up on Saturday! This Bird is crazy and when I say crazy she is REAL KINKY! She is into Porn Movies and is also a vegetable lover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK Then this other 23 years old Bird I have been trying to get into her pants has just broken up with her boyfriend and wants me to help her move from her unit to another one on Saturday and said IF you get tied you can stay the night!!!!!!!!!!!! She is 6 foot tall with the biggest set of bazookas you will ever see:
She also runs the heavy metal show on a radio station and also wants me to have a segment called "ON the ROAD"about life in a heavy metal band!
WELL the problem is that this Saturday is also my wedding anniversary!
Have you every heard of the story of when it rains it pours!
So people, friends and fellow collaborators PLEASE work out:
1: How I get out of my wedding anniversary!
2: Which Chick I should go out with!
waiting for your prompt reply:
cheers
PS Don't say have a 3some my wife wouldn't be in it! I have tried several times! |
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cypezokyli
Ministerial

Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2344
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happy anniversary DP.
tjai oti potheis  |
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depurple Warnings : 1 Ministerial

Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 2876 Location: Australia
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NO! NO! don't say that THINK!
Surely there MUST be a trick someone has up he or shes sleeve!
cheers |
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Get Real! Warnings : 3 Senior Villager

Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 325 Location: Nicosia
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Here’s a plan…
1. On Thursday explain to your wife that you’ll be flat-out for 3 days and that you’ll make it up to her Monday onwards.
2. On Friday see the 23 year old to help her “pack early”.
3. On Saturday see the 18 year-old about them cords.
4. On Sunday see the 28 year old because you’ll be flat-out on Saturday.
Good luck… |
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depurple Warnings : 1 Ministerial

Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 2876 Location: Australia
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Thanks Get Real:
I will take note of your reply:
Well I did have a few back and neck problems in the old days when I used to spin the mike stand around and also my head: (In a figure
But hope fully they wont play up during my aerobic exercises with these girls:
cheers
As a back up plan I have my overweight cousin BIG HARRY who will ring me and say he is having a heart attack and I have to race him to hospital ASAP:
He has done many time for me in the past:
The only problem is a few months ago he fell on the ground and was having a heart attack and we all exercises he was pulling our leg again until we saw him frothing from the mouth!
GOODONYA HARRY! |
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erolz
Site Admin

Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 4195 Location: Kyrenia / Girne
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Here is a radical suggestion for you.
How about you show your wife some respect and resist your urges to do 'aerobics' with any person you think you might have a chance with ? |
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depurple Warnings : 1 Ministerial

Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 2876 Location: Australia
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Erolz I do respect my wife that is why I haven't given her the flick yet and haven't posted any of our home movies on the NET!
There is one thing we so called Christens stuffed up!
We should of been able to have 5 wives and NOT just one wife with a few girls on the side!
Do may Turks have more than one wife?
I am sure I asked this question before but please refresh my memory:
cheers |
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brother Warnings : 3 Site Admin

Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 8920 Location: London/Cyprus
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| depurple wrote: |
Erolz I do respect my wife that is why I haven't given her the flick yet and haven't posted any of our home movies on the NET!
There is one thing we so called Christens stuffed up!
We should of been able to have 5 wives and NOT just one wife with a few girls on the side!
Do may Turks have more than one wife?
I am sure I asked this question before but please refresh my memory:
cheers |
The answer is sooooo simple, change your FAITH and become a muslim, then as long as you can financially and pysically satisfy your women you can have upto 4 wives.  |
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Marina2005
Deputy

Joined: 18 Aug 2005 Posts: 1603 Location: Limassol, Cyprus
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FINALLY SOME GREAT GOSSIP
Thanks Dep.
Sorry to say but this forum has become very "serious" lately.
PS I have to go with Brothers idea...... change faith my friend.  |
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Lewis Gerolemou
Senior Villager

Joined: 30 Apr 2006 Posts: 107 Location: UK
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| DP ask my son for some advice, he had three girlfriends at his birthday bash, the place was so crowded he got away with it and he had time to play in the band (lead guitar) too! |
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city
Site Admin

Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 3370 Location: Larnaca area
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DP, if you are capable of doing what Lewis son did, me thinks this is the best option.
On a serious note: Erolz is right! |
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depurple Warnings : 1 Ministerial

Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 2876 Location: Australia
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Brother no problems:
Where do I sign:
As most of my Turkish Cypriot friends are great: They drink, smoke and have a few flings and they don't really follow religion to a T:
My friend Moustafas even eats Pork Lukanika: When I said RE that is pork he said PORK?
I said Yes!
He said "then bring out the RAKI it goes better with pork!"
BROTHER if I can afford them? No worries there!
My current wife has a $4000 dollar month Visa that I pay for and that is ONLY her spending money:
As for satisfying them:
If I get into trouble I will call for a tag team partner:(Any takers!)
OH City I was hoping to add you to my list of future wives after the ceremony!
Marina mou! What can I say!
Your the only one who understands me! I think!
Because sometime I don't even understand myself!
cheers
PS Do they sell Viagra over the counter in Cyprus?
Hey its not for me it for my grandfather he is 88 and just wants to take one before he sleeps at night so he doesn't roll out of bead in the NIGHT!
cheers again!
PS Again!
Looking for BOAT and wife 2, 3 & 4:
Please send photo of Boat!
cheers amigos! |
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Marina2005
Deputy

Joined: 18 Aug 2005 Posts: 1603 Location: Limassol, Cyprus
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| So what happened Dep.................are you still alive or did your wife find out?????? |
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depurple Warnings : 1 Ministerial

Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 2876 Location: Australia
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Marina Mou it was a mess:
All three girls had a headache! AND all three had KOKINI PEMTI! some say the RED FLAG!
How can three girls have their periods ALL at the same time!
Someone upstairs definitely doesn't like me:
So I had to spent the whole weekend with my wife in a log Cabin on Phillip Island watching x rated movies and playing twister with the baby oil!
How traumatic!
cheers
Such is Life!
BUT there is ALWAYS next weekend! |
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