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| Do you know what a 'gen' is? |
| Yes |
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20% |
[ 1 ] |
| No |
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80% |
[ 4 ] |
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| Total Votes : 5 |
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| Author |
Message |
Eric Dayi
Warnings : 5
Deputy
Joined: 19 Dec 2005
Posts: 1017
Location: ESSEX
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| The Cypriot wrote: |
What a great question, Davlos! I think we'd need more information before offering advice.
Did she use violence against him too, ever? Or, extreme verbal/psychological abuse?
Are there children? (innocent parties in the conflict)
There's never an excuse for violence but, as in the difference between manslaughter and murder, there's a beating resulting from provocation and uncontrollable rage and a beating resulting from a premeditated need to demonstrate power and control. Which was it?
How economically advantageous would it be for them and for any children to give it another go?
How would it affect their families and friends? Would they prefer it if they were together again?
And the most important question of all:
Deep down, do they still love each other?
Of course, you could relate all this to the estranged people of Cyprus which, I suspect, was your intention.
Would you be willing to give it a second chance, Eric? For the sake of the children? |
My personal answer is definitely no because knowing the situation and thoughts of both parties leads me to believe that it will all end up in tears and the children will be the ones to suffer greater than the "parents" for a second time. I want to save the "children" from the same suffering that their "parents" suffered. I definitely do not see why any "parent" could be so selfish because of financial gain and what their "friends" would think. If the first thoughts are towards the "children" than the "violent" relationship of the "parents" should not be forced to re-unite again and should be refused by the "parents" themselves in the first place. The only "parents" who are willing to take a chance on their "children's" future and their "children" getting hurt are very selfish and foolish.
If the "Parents" are divorced the children have in reality have two "homes" and can choose freely where they would prefer to live or even take turn in living in both "Parents homes", that is obviously when both the "parents" live the door open for the "children" to come and go as they wish.
It is undoubtedly true that as long as "siblings" live in the same "house" they tend to fight but once they leave the parents and become "independent" in their own "homes" things seem to calm down and the fighting is over (in most cases anyway). It is also known that the "siblings" grow more together when living apart.
In great majority of "separated house", even the "parents" stop fighting because they are too busy building a new life and looking after their new "family.
Most forced "marriages" end up in tatters and tears and sometimes even one "parent" killing the other. In such cases the children suffer from the beginning to the bitter end.
1) In a violent "marriage"
2) During the divorce
3) During the aftermath of the divorce.
4) When things start to deteriorate after the "forced re-unification".
5) During the second violent "marriage"
6) During the second "divorce"
7) During the aftermath of the second "divorce"
So who wants to put their "children" through all that suffering? Anyone up for it? |
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Dhavlos
Warnings : 1
Site Admin
Joined: 13 Aug 2005
Posts: 4697
Location: Birmingham
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| Quote: |
| So who wants to put their "children" through all that suffering? Anyone up for it? |
or alternatively, the children may find that their parents are able to get back together and live in peace, cos they have a system in the marriage to encourage their love, and not their hate. they do it for the greater good, and the children learn from it(peace and respect etc.) themselves to build happy families, under the same roof.
All the other families will be jeaolous cos this family is so successful.
Basically, the marriage could go either way...destructive or peaceful...i would hope peacefully. |
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Eric Dayi
Warnings : 5
Deputy
Joined: 19 Dec 2005
Posts: 1017
Location: ESSEX
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| Dhavlos wrote: |
| Quote: |
| So who wants to put their "children" through all that suffering? Anyone up for it? |
or alternatively, the children may find that their parents are able to get back together and live in peace, cos they have a system in the marriage to encourage their love, and not their hate. they do it for the greater good, and the children learn from it(peace and respect etc.) themselves to build happy families, under the same roof.
All the other families will be jeaolous cos this family is so successful. |
That is only a maybe and mostly not the case.
| Quote: |
| Basically, the marriage could go either way...destructive or peaceful...i would hope peacefully. |
There you go Dhavlos, you "hope peacefully" but you are not sure and even though you know that there is a great chance that the "marriage" will end up in tears you are prepared to take that chance and get a lot of people killed. I'd rather not take that chance because I don't want to see anyone die. Therefor as before I still say that "separation/partition" is the best solution as far as the "marriage" in Cyprus is concerned. |
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repulsewarrior
Deputy
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 1683
Location: Canada
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As with husband and wife, so too, two brothers, their service is to the family, and since the creation of the UN, a Family of Man. Do not banter anymore on this, thank-you. We agree that there are two, and others, and together they will find one solution.
Please ask another question. |
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repulsewarrior
Deputy
Joined: 06 Jan 2006
Posts: 1683
Location: Canada
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