www.talkcyprus.org

[stavrizatz]

Here is the latest news of Australia's glorious prime minister, attached with a joke that describes his policies, indeed the policies of many politicians.

He banned Australia's cricket game against Zimbabwe and he's written to Cricket Australia ordering the team’s tour to Zimbabwe to be scrapped, in order to avoid a propaganda win for Zimbabwe's president Robert Mugabe! What a lunatic, he banns a sporting game because he dislikes the president. Now he mixes sport with politics…what’s next?

For those who don’t know, he is the same person who have send Australia’s troops to Iraq and Afghanistan and he says “to save our families from the terrorists!”

Also he is the same person who tried to cover the issue where asylum seeker babies were thrown overboard! He also allowed children of asylum seekers in detention for indefinite period and under his government Australia has one of the worst and racist immigration policies in the world.

And the little joke...

While on his morning walk, Prime Minister John Howard falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency ward at his nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time. So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Saint Peter: Welcome to Heaven, but before you settle in, it seem there is a problem. We seldom see a Liberal around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you.

Howard: No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian.

SP: Sorry, I have orders from God Himself, He says that since the nation of his new HEAVENCHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity."

H: But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven.

SP: I'm sorry, mate ... but we have our rules. And shows Howard the way to hell.

IN HELL
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course. The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 27C degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it is Bob Menzies and thousands of other Liberals luminaries who had helped him out over the years... Harold Holt, John Gorton, Bill McMahon, etc. The whole of the Liberal Party leaders were there .... everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.' They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Devil arrives and tells Howard "drink and eat all you want and not worry, it just gets better from there!" Howard takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Liberals pulled with the GST and the Free Trade Agreement promises.

They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Howard steps out, on the way to heaven.

IN HEAVEN
So for 24 hours Howard is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or short arse joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn't see anybody he knows and he isn't even treated like someone special! "Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself. "Bob Menzies never prepared me for this!"

The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, "Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."

With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Howard reflects for a minute ... then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this... I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all - but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, own, all the way to Hell.

The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, kind of like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands back with grime. The Devil comes over to Howard and puts an arm around his shoulder.

Howard: I don't understand, yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable.

The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!"

[brother]

Funny joke :lol: