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zan · Joined: 31 Dec 2005 Posts: 962

Love, hate and heaven
Sam, Abbe and Moishe were waiting in line to get into Heaven. When Sam gets to the front of the queue, the Angel Gabriel said, "Heaven is nearly full today and I can only admit those who have had horrible deaths. What's your story?"
"I suspected my wife was cheating on me," says Sam, "so I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered my flat, but I couldn’t find where the other guy was hiding. However, when I went out onto my balcony, there was this man hanging onto my railings. I was furious and started kicking him but he held on so I got a hammer and battered his fingers. He couldn't take that and had to let go. He fell 20 stories but he somehow landed in some thick bushes and only stunned himself so I ran into my kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the balcony. My aim was perfect – it landed right on top of him, killing him instantly. Unfortunately, all the raw anger got to me. I had a massive heart attack and died on my balcony."
"That sounds quite bad to me," said the Angel Gabriel and let Sam in.
He then explains to Abbe about Heaven being full and asks for his story.
"It's been a very unusual day for me. I live on the 21st floor of a Dockland’s tower
and every morning I do exercises on my balcony. Unfortunately, this morning I slipped on the wet floor and fell over the edge. Luckily, I managed to grab the railing of the balcony below mine. All of a sudden, a man burst out onto the balcony and just for a moment I thought I was saved. But he was a madman and started beating me. I somehow held on but when he started hammering at my hands, I had to let go. But I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, winded but OK. But my luck ran out when a fridge fell on me. Now I'm here."
Once again, Angel Gabriel agreed that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
Moishe came to the front of the line and again the whole process was repeated. Angel Gabriel explained that Heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says Moishe, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."

city · Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 3370 Location: Larnaca area

:D :D :D

Marina2005 · Joined: 18 Aug 2005 Posts: 1603 Location: Limassol, Cyprus

Brilliant :clap2: :clap2:

Alexios · Joined: 20 Oct 2005 Posts: 976

Enas Lemesianos, enas Skaliotis tsie enas Pafitis kamnoun partouzan me mian Horaitissan esso tis. Aksippa, akououn ton andra tis na anniei tin portan. O Lemesianos eprolaven tsie empiken mes sto armarin.O Skaliotis evourisen tsie empiken mes sto mpanion.O Pafitis ene prolaven tsie petahtin ekso stin veranda. Anniei o athropos to armarin tsie thori ompros tou ton Lemesianon. Inta pou kamneis esou dame file mou??!! lalei tou. File mou eimai pelekanos tsie tilefonise mou i geneka sou na saso to armarin!!! Kala esases to?? arota o athropos. Nai esasa to lalei tou o Lemesianos.Ate, ela 10 lires tsie pienne sto kalon. Piannei o Lemesianos to dekaliron tsie fefkei.(O pafitis tora en pas stin veranda tsie poshiepazei.Thorei intan pou ginete alla en akouei..)
Paei o athropos sto mpanio na plithei tsie thorei ton Skaliotin. Esi pios eisai file mou??? arota ton. Ego eimai ydravlikos tsie tilefonisen mou i geneka sou na saso tin fountana pou stassei lalei tou.E, esases tin arota o athropos. Nai lalei tou o Skaliotis. E ela tsie sou ena dekaliron tsie pienne sto kalon. Arpassei o Skaliotis to dekaliron tsie fefkei. Thorei ton o Pafitis me to dekaliron sto shieri, petassetai pou tin verandan mesa tsie paei ston athropon. Eeeee koumpare, lalei tou..egamiamen tsie meis...!!!!!!!!

Sorry guys but i coulnt translate this to save my life..!!:):)

Leyla · Joined: 14 Apr 2006 Posts: 612

:lol: :lol: :lol: @ Zan
@ Alexios...let me see...there was a man from Paphos....and ... :lol: :lol:

Marina2005 · Joined: 18 Aug 2005 Posts: 1603 Location: Limassol, Cyprus

Alexios wrote: Enas Lemesianos, enas Skaliotis tsie enas Pafitis kamnoun partouzan me mian Horaitissan esso tis. Aksippa, akououn ton andra tis na anniei tin portan. O Lemesianos eprolaven tsie empiken mes sto armarin.O Skaliotis evourisen tsie empiken mes sto mpanion.O Pafitis ene prolaven tsie petahtin ekso stin veranda. Anniei o athropos to armarin tsie thori ompros tou ton Lemesianon. Inta pou kamneis esou dame file mou??!! lalei tou. File mou eimai pelekanos tsie tilefonise mou i geneka sou na saso to armarin!!! Kala esases to?? arota o athropos. Nai esasa to lalei tou o Lemesianos.Ate, ela 10 lires tsie pienne sto kalon. Piannei o Lemesianos to dekaliron tsie fefkei.(O pafitis tora en pas stin veranda tsie poshiepazei.Thorei intan pou ginete alla en akouei..)
Paei o athropos sto mpanio na plithei tsie thorei ton Skaliotin. Esi pios eisai file mou??? arota ton. Ego eimai ydravlikos tsie tilefonisen mou i geneka sou na saso tin fountana pou stassei lalei tou.E, esases tin arota o athropos. Nai lalei tou o Skaliotis. E ela tsie sou ena dekaliron tsie pienne sto kalon. Arpassei o Skaliotis to dekaliron tsie fefkei. Thorei ton o Pafitis me to dekaliron sto shieri, petassetai pou tin verandan mesa tsie paei ston athropon. Eeeee koumpare, lalei tou..egamiamen tsie meis...!!!!!!!!

Sorry guys but i coulnt translate this to save my life..!!:):)

:cry: :cry: Thats gonna take me one hour to read :?

depurple · Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 2876 Location: Australia

Good one Zan!
Good one !:
I have been in a fridge or two in my time mate!
cheers

city · Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 3370 Location: Larnaca area

Alexios, I think I get the grip of it, let me try....

Somehow similar story but all three men are in a womans flat and suddenly her husband turns up. They hide and when he finds them they make up some excuses, being electrician or whatever and the husband lets them go when they pay 10 Pounds. Only the guy from Paphos who was hiding on the veranda and who could overhear the others conversation says something stupid. But WHAT??

I hope I am not too far away from what you wrote :D :D

Cyprus rules! · Joined: 11 Jun 2006 Posts: 668

Leyla wrote: :lol: :lol: :lol: @ Zan
@ Alexios...let me see...there was a man from Paphos....and ... :lol: :lol:

Your sort of on the right track Leyla...

But it's more like...

There was a guy from Pafos, a guy from limassol, a guy from Larnaca, a married women, a husband, and..... :lol:

@Zan, :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Alexios · Joined: 20 Oct 2005 Posts: 976

city wrote: Alexios, I think I get the grip of it, let me try....

Somehow similar story but all three men are in a womans flat and suddenly her husband turns up. They hide and when he finds them they make up some excuses, being electrician or whatever and the husband lets them go when they pay 10 Pounds. Only the guy from Paphos who was hiding on the veranda and who could overhear the others conversation says something stupid. But WHAT??

I hope I am not too far away from what you wrote :D :D

Not a bad try City..:) Only the Pafiti could NOT hear what was going on and could only SEE the husband handing out 10 pound notes....So he jumps into the room and says to the man something like...hey mate,I f...d her too you know...!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: In the peculiar Paphian accent that other Cypriots tend to laugh at..... :? :evil: How can one translate that........ :?

100%cypriot · Joined: 27 Jun 2006 Posts: 2164

zan wrote: Love, hate and heaven
Sam, Abbe and Moishe were waiting in line to get into Heaven. When Sam gets to the front of the queue, the Angel Gabriel said, "Heaven is nearly full today and I can only admit those who have had horrible deaths. What's your story?"
"I suspected my wife was cheating on me," says Sam, "so I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered my flat, but I couldn’t find where the other guy was hiding. However, when I went out onto my balcony, there was this man hanging onto my railings. I was furious and started kicking him but he held on so I got a hammer and battered his fingers. He couldn't take that and had to let go. He fell 20 stories but he somehow landed in some thick bushes and only stunned himself so I ran into my kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the balcony. My aim was perfect – it landed right on top of him, killing him instantly. Unfortunately, all the raw anger got to me. I had a massive heart attack and died on my balcony."
"That sounds quite bad to me," said the Angel Gabriel and let Sam in.
He then explains to Abbe about Heaven being full and asks for his story.
"It's been a very unusual day for me. I live on the 21st floor of a Dockland’s tower
and every morning I do exercises on my balcony. Unfortunately, this morning I slipped on the wet floor and fell over the edge. Luckily, I managed to grab the railing of the balcony below mine. All of a sudden, a man burst out onto the balcony and just for a moment I thought I was saved. But he was a madman and started beating me. I somehow held on but when he started hammering at my hands, I had to let go. But I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, winded but OK. But my luck ran out when a fridge fell on me. Now I'm here."
Once again, Angel Gabriel agreed that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
Moishe came to the front of the line and again the whole process was repeated. Angel Gabriel explained that Heaven was full and asked for his story.
"Picture this," says Moishe, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..." :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

city · Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Posts: 3370 Location: Larnaca area

Alexios wrote: city wrote: Alexios, I think I get the grip of it, let me try....

Somehow similar story but all three men are in a womans flat and suddenly her husband turns up. They hide and when he finds them they make up some excuses, being electrician or whatever and the husband lets them go when they pay 10 Pounds. Only the guy from Paphos who was hiding on the veranda and who could overhear the others conversation says something stupid. But WHAT??

I hope I am not too far away from what you wrote :D :D

Not a bad try City..:) Only the Pafiti could NOT hear what was going on and could only SEE the husband handing out 10 pound notes....So he jumps into the room and says to the man something like...hey mate,I f...d her too you know...!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: In the peculiar Paphian accent that other Cypriots tend to laugh at..... :? :evil: How can one translate that........ :?

:D I'd say it's next to impossible to translate that dialect :wink:

hm, so I missed two main points - who was paying whom and whether he could hear it or not. Next time I have to try harder ! My Greek certainly needs some practice. :oops: