Once Upon a Time in a Place Called Cyprus....

[Birkibrisli]

I was 17 years old when I left Cyprus...I had finished the High School (Nicosia Turkish Boys Lycee) at age 16 and a half...I had a sister 18 months older,and Father made sure I caught up with her in primary school...The idea was that we would go to university together...In those days (late 60s) there were no universities in Cyprus...If you were a Turkish Cypriot you essentially had two choices,England or Turkey...England was for the rich...Not that there were really any rich people in Cyprus then...But there were those better off,like the merchants and professionals like doctors,dentists ,and lawyers who could afford to send their children to London...My father being a mere school teacher could only afford to send us to Turkey...

It was taken for granted that we would go to university...And it was taken for granted that I was to become a doctor,my sister a lawyer...It was unusual at the time for girls to become lawyers...So Father and Mother were somewhat progressive in their ambition for their children....Father was a product of the Teacher's College in Morphou...I gather this college has a special place in Cyprus colonial history...It was probably the only educational institution which accepted students from both main communities...They studied mainly in English,but all had to take Greek and Turkish as supplementary subjects....I say that because I know Father had studied Greek and was as fluent in both spoken and writen Greek as he was in English...I am assuming that the Greek Cypriot students compulsorily took Turkish,but I stand to be corrected. Maybe the languages were elective subjects...

My mother was the daughter of a major landlord in the Paphos area...She was not allowed to continue her education past primary school....Well,I tell a lie...She was so much in love with her studies,and so determined to clean the spider webs from her father's head,that she went on a hunger strike which lasted some weeks,in order to make her father agree to let her study at home with female teachers....This way she managed to finish Secondary School as well,but without gaining any qualifications...By the time she was 16 her father was actively trying to marry her off to the son of some other land owner...This was the fate of her two elder sisters who were taken from primary school and marrried to men 20 years their senior...Mother did not want this and made a compromise with her father...She would stop her demands for further education,and he would stop trying to marry her off....This arrangement worked well...Mother did not marry till she was 28 years old which was unheard of in Turkish Cypriot society at the time....And when she did marry her choice was the local school teacher,just out of teacher's college,and 2 years her junior....

[Bananiot]

Nice story Birkibrisli, I will make a contribution real soon.

[Birkibrisli]

[Birkibrisli]

[Birkibrisli]

Mother drove her father almost mad by refusing every suitor he had found suitable...His heart was really set on marrying her off to his nephew...Uncle K., as I got to know him later,had a promising career as a policeman...He was short and dark and not to my mother's liking...But his heart was well and truly set on Mum. They had worked his magic on him obviously and he had convinced himself that he was totally in love with Mum and no one else in the whole world would do...When in due time they made the ceremonial visit to ask for Mum's hand in marriage,Grandpa accepted on her behalf without even asking her opinion...As far as he was concerned this was a marriage prepared in heaven...The most beautiful girl in the village to marry the most promising young man...When she heard of the happy news,Mother went into a shock...There was no way she would marry her cousin,the one she and her sisters had made fun of all their lives...They had called him "siribilla",which I believe is cockroach in Cypriot Greek...

But there was no way Mother could refuse and make her father go back on his word...There was only one way to stop this marriage...If the groom-to-be changed his mind...So Mum got to work on a letter that would change a lot of people's lives...I for one would not be here if she had not written it..She wrote to her suitor adressing him as "Beloved Cousin"... She stated in no uncertain terms that she felt nothing for him,and could not possibly marry someone she had grown up with and considered as a brother....She reminded her they had both drunk milk from the same breast...Because his mother had no milk or something was wrong with the milk itself, Grandma had ended up suckling him when he was born...She ended with the coup de grace....If this marriage went ahead she would kill herself on the wedding night...The poor intended knew what he had to do...He went to his father and told him he had changed his mind...He did not want to marry his cousin after all...His poor father was so shocked he had a mild stroke...But Uncle K.would not change his mind,this marriage was impossible...When Grandfather was told of the situation,he asked to speak to the young man...Grandpa demanded to know why he had changed his mind...If it had something to do with his daughter he would fix the situation straight away...He would put the shotgun to her head and if she still refused he would pull the trigger...Knowing that this was no idle threat Uncle K. said he was really in love with someone else...He had already deflowered this girl and had no option but marry her...Grandpa did not say a word...He got up from his chair approached his trembling nephew and spat on his face...hackkkktooooooooo....He did not speak to him for another 40 years....

[city]

Keep the stories coming Bir please! I love it and it would be great if others would/could contribute as well here please!

P.S. I've made the thread a 'sticky'

[Birkibrisli]

[repulsewarrior]

Thank-you Dr.; and thanks city for telling our good friend what i was too shy to ask for myself.

[Birkibrisli]

[Birkibrisli]

[Birkibrisli]

It was indeed not easy to be born a female in Cyprus in those days...Was it anywhere??? I cannot tell...But in Cyprus if you were a female you had little option re your life...You helped your mother in the house...Your father in the fields,if he had any...And you were married off to a suitor as soon as you came of age...Sometimes before you came of age...As in the case of Mum's elder sister,Cemile...She was promised when she was 8,engaged when she was 10,and married when she was 12...The suitor was the son of the major landowner in the neighbouring village of Melandra...He was 26 at the time of the marriage...When I say they got engaged,please don't imagine they got up to anything...They were not allowed to see or speak to each other...Even after the wedding he was not allowed anywhere near her,because she had not become a woman yet...Read,she did not have her period...Auntie Cemile saw her intended for the first time on the wedding day...Then he was whisked away to wait till such time as his bride achieved womanhood...Mother tells a chilling story during this waiting priod...Auntie Cemile got very sick at one stage...
It was probably Menangitis or something equally dreadful...She took to her bed,a doctor was called from nearby Greek Cypriot village of Fidi (the famous Dr Herodotos of whom I will speak again and again as this story unfolds),and pronounced her playing with death...The news reached her husband,who was yet to touch her hand let alone anywhere else,and he came on his horse begging Grandpa to be allowed to visit her on her sickbed...Grandpa refused...She was still in his care,practically not the groom's wife ,hence no such visit could be allowed...Uncle B. begged and begged but it was no use...He got back on his horse and before riding away he made one last plea...What if she died without even saying goodbye???? Grandpa's heart refused to melt...."If she dies without saying goodbye," he reportedly said,"then you will meet on the other side in good time..." Uncle B. was so distressed that he had a massive nosebleed by the time he returned to his village merely 3 kilometres away...Dr Herodotos was called again,and he too arrived on his horse,like a knight bringing healing to the masses.The bleeding proved very difficult to stop,and apparently Uncle B. was in as grave a danger as his unfortunate bride...They both pulled through and were united within a year...They went on to have 8 children...Some of my favourite cousins were amongst their brood...I say were,but all but one are still alive..They are all living in Cyprus, now mostly in Famagusta where they were resettled after 1974...Auntie Cemile became a great great great grandma...I got to see her in 1999 for the last time...I remember her as a small,dignified,proud Matriarch,with her black headgear (carsaf) sitting on her daybed dispensing advice and favours to her large and ever expanding family...When I went to say goodbye and kiss her hand as is the custom,she kissed me on both cheeks and said her last words I was to hear..."Don't leave it too long to return,my son..." She died within a couple of years of my last visit...And I have not visited the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus since...

[repulsewarrior]

...i remember the women building roads, the women picking roviti, most hard labour a part of their chores...

...i remember the girls trapped in their houses, never out alone but in groups, and out of the sunlight which would darken a milk white skin...

...my mother had a grade two education, which was normal in her day, she reads today because she wanted to...

[Birkibrisli]

[Birkibrisli]

[Birkibrisli]

Father and Mother were a total mismatch...She was a romantic country girl,pure and innocent...He was a streetwise city slicker from a broken family...His father actually came from a once-prosperous family of mixed heritage..Granpa Ali's great grandfather was an Italian Jew who had met an fallen in love with an Arabic woman in what is now Jordan...Her family refused to allow their daughter to marry a Jew so they had simply eloped to Cyprus... There my great great great grandfather went on to make a fortune,and assimilate into the Ottoman Muslim society...Unfortunately for Grandpa Ali his father was a gambler and womaniser,so he had happily squandered the family fortune and left him nothing but bad debts...

To escape his debtors Granpa Ali enlisted into the British Army and was sent away to Egypt during WWI....There he did little fighting but plenty of sweetmaking in the kitchen...He became brilliant in making delicacies like baklava ,kafayif and shamali....After the war he returned to Cyprus,married and settled down in his own sweetshop in the mining town of Lefka...Father was born soon after followed by two sisters in quick succession....But the marriage was far from happy...Grandpa Ali found it difficult to adjust to civilian life and the old family tradition of drinking and gambling soon took their toll...He became violent with his wife...He would often beat her up and lock Grandma and the kids out all night...They would seek shelter in the neighbour's house,and the neigbour's son started to feel very sorry for her...After another serious beating and night prawling,the neighbour's son pleaded with Grandma to run away with him...This they did leaving father and his sisters behind...Those days the children of broken marriages stayed with their father...So they had really little choice...Father was 9 at the time and he never did overcome this act of desertion by his mother...Grandpa Ali promply found a woman to look after the house and the children...She was a great cook and housekeeper,and she loved the children like her own...He soon married her and it is this softhearted, dignified woman that I came to know as my Grandma from Father's side...I spend little time with Father's side of the family,but the times we visited them was always memorable...All the sweets you can eat,and all the romantic Turkish films you can watch next door at the open-air cinema...What else did a child want back in the 50s in Cyprus?????