The hidden wives of Turkey

[brother]

The hidden wives of Turkey


By Nick Read
Producer/Director, World Weddings: The Second Wife



The villages of south-east Anatolia, in the corner of Turkey that borders Iraq and Syria, are bleak, hauntingly beautiful places that do not give up their secrets lightly.

It is part of what Kurds claim as their homeland, where years of violent struggle between Kurdish separatists and the Turkish government have left more than 30,000 killed.

The government outlawed the practice of polygamy nearly a century ago. But Islamic custom can allow men to take up to four wives.

In this devoutly Muslim region, it is estimated that nearly a quarter of all marriages are polygamous.

Men like 32-year-old Resat Yagdi regard it as their birthright. He is a part-time electrician and onion farmer, with a beautiful wife and three children, one just a week old.

But despite these blessings, he is determined to take a second wife to enhance his prosperity and prestige in the village.

Price of a bride

He has chosen a girl who lives virtually next door - Ayse Aymaz - who is eight years his junior.

But while preparing to marry Ayse, he soon learned that love comes at a price.

To win Ayse's hand, first Resat must build her a new home, and pay her parents a substantial bride price. By the time he marries, he will be £18,000 out of pocket.





But after what Resat considered to be an unhappy first marriage, it is a price worth paying. He says: "Ayse is so feminine. She is everything I've ever dreamt of. She's my perfect type."

For Resat's 22-year-old sister, Melihat, the clock is ticking.

Her marriage will soon be arranged by her father, who has three wives himself, and her price negotiated with the groom's family.

Melihat knows she is regarded purely as an economic asset: "They sell girls like animals; we're not treated as human beings."

Some are sold into marriage as young as 12 years old. Girls who run away are simply killed, in what are euphemistically called "honour" killings.

Unsurprisingly there are few prepared to speak out against these practices.

One of the few campaigners, Ayla Sumbul, teaches women to read and write in the slums of one of Anatolia's largest cities, Sanliurfa.

She spells out the consequences for wives who do not comply: "If the first wife complains then she gets beaten, or the husband punishes her and the children by not providing them with food. She becomes a prisoner."

Ayla has recently uncovered a disturbing side effect of polygamy and inbreeding.

'A quiet affair'

Repeated intermarrying within families, typically between first and second cousins, has produced abnormally high rates of children with Downs Syndrome and Mediterranean anaemia.

Ayse is Resat's cousin, but nobody in his village sees anything wrong with it.

But because polygamy is illegal, Resat has to keep his wedding a quiet affair.

So quiet that the bride's family is not invited. Nor in fact is the bride present at the ceremony.

She is kept veiled in the bedroom, while a local Imam arrives to recite all the necessary Koranic verses in the presence of the groom and two male witnesses.

Within two days of the wedding and marriage being consummated, Ayse is put to work in Resat's onion fields.

From a Western perspective, polygamy appears to be little better than slavery.

In the brutal, feudal world of south-east Anatolia, women are bought and sold for sex, for free labour and men's pride.

And for Ayse, there will be no honeymoon. Yet she has no regrets: "I don't care whether he's penniless or not. It's not important to me what he's worth. It's all because I love him."

Polygamy is illegal in Turkey, but in practice it is allowed to continue. In remote areas like this, Turkey risks antagonising Kurdish separatists by intervening in tradition and customs.

But as Turkey seeks to negotiate entry into the European Union, polygamy and other human rights issues are likely to attract greater international attention.

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/this_world/4165896.stm

[Dhavlos]

yeh, read that......its quite bad these women are treated that way.

No offence, but you can really see now why turkey would need a good 15years before they enter the EU, anything (geographically) right of Ankara seems to be quite far from the 'ideals' of the EU....do you see what i mean?

[brother]

Can't argue that re dhavlos.

[detailer]

Actually the straightforward way for Turkey is splitting in the way PKK wants.

In this way,
1) Population will decrease(20 milions)
2) They wont be neighbours to Iraq, Iran, Syria anymore(or in a lesser degree). EU countries will like this & Turkey will spend less on military.
3) No more ethnic problems.
4) Average living standard of the people will increase.

Let the kurds deal with arab countries then. What do you think?

[brother]

I think the best way is the uk style where they have their own parliments, mp's etc. but are not allowed any military and is protected by Turkey.Moosey explains it a lot better.

[cannedmoose]

It's called 'devolution' Bro'... but it amounts to federalism, where each region has control over most administrative and some legislative areas, yet areas such as foreign affairs, defence and other areas vital to national cohesion remain at a central level. I think in the long run this would be the ideal solution to Turkey's problems. Giving the Kurds a measure of self-rule would go a long way to putting a plaster on the open sore that is the PKK.

[detailer]

[city]

not exactly the same topic, but I've seen a very interesting documentation on ARTE yesterday (Arte is a german/french television station). It was called "Out of Istanbul" and broached the issue of being gay in Turkey.
Why it comes to my mind now is, because I was surprised that homosexuality has never been illegal in Turkey whereas in other countries it has.
So there are indeed issues where Turkey is not far or even closer to the EU and its propagandised human rights as one might think.....

Here is the link to the docu (in french as I thought this may be more feasible than german ) http://www.arte-tv.com/fr/semaine/244,broadcastingNum=498904,day=4,week=35,year=2005.html

[Dhavlos]

It may be legal in turkey, but culturally, i think(correct me if im wrong) that homosexuality is more 'accepted' in Europe than in turkey.

PS, ive heard of that TV station, it shows german programmes in french subtitles and vis-versa yeh? We 'learnt' about it in french(when i say learnt, we were learning about french media.....quite boring really)

[city]

[Ixtanbul]

[Xenos 2Fan]

[Ixtanbul]

2Fan,

First of all my name has been "1453" for over a year on 2 previous Greek Turkish forums and theres people in this forum that know me from those forums with this name. If i changed it they could have thought i was someone else.

Back to the topic,

[erolz]

[Xenos 2Fan]